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AZU-1: Lifehack Page 10


  “The shots I heard..”

  “Yup, that was me. You’re lucky, you know. I almost drained that pool last month. I constructed it under that hole to gather rain, but I never use it. There’s enough bottled water around for one person. Anyway, I scooped you out, and brought you home. Do I get to keep you?” Regan advanced, and pressed against Alisia.

  Alisia was stunned by Regan’s outright, unabashed advances. “No, you cannot ‘keep’ me. I’m here to get you out of Autar.”

  “Hm?” Regan seemed suddenly a little detached. “No, we can’t do that. I have business here.”

  “What? What possible business could you have here?”

  “I have to find my brother.”

  “What? You.. must realize he’s dead by now... it’s a miracle You’re alive.”

  “He’s not dead, he’s undead.” Regan seemed suddenly serious.

  “You know this?”

  “By his own voice, recorded for posterity. He’s one of them now.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “During the evacuation.”

  “..... We still have to get you out.” Alisia picked up her comm, which was nearby. “Major? Parker?”

  Regan laid down on the mattress and did her best sex-kitten pinup pose while smiling at Alisia.

  After a few moments, Parker’s voice came through. “Captain!? You’re alive? I don’t believe it! There’s a team headed your way to-“

  “Don’t bother, I’m fine. Speaking of teams headed in, did they get Kensington out?”

  “Yeah, and she’s not infected.”

  “Thank god. At least that’s something.” Alisia had plenty of complaints about getting members for her team, but she wasn’t about to complain about how fast the Major could put a team together when someone needed to get out.

  Just then, the Major broke in. “Captain! Good to hear you! Report!”

  “I was rescued by my objective, Sir. I’m here with her now. She’s apprehensive to leave.”

  “What? Who is she? What’s her name? Why doesn’t she want to leave?”

  Regan slipped a comm out of her pocket and joined in. “Hello boys,” she teased, “My name’s Regan. Regan Grier. Thank you ever so much for sending this incredible specimen to come play with me. She’s wonderful.”

  “Uh... huh?” Parker’s full attention was now at Regan’s command.

  “But,” Regan continued, “I don’t plan to leave Autar until I find the thing that uses my brother’s body, and bury them both.”

  “Grier......” It was audible that the Major was typing and pecking away at his keyboard. “Yes. Yes, I have your record. Not surprisingly you’ve been declared dead. Brother... brother.... Yes, I have it. Doctor Harold Grier. Oh my, quite a brain..”

  “Yes,” Regan sighed, “AutarLabs. Big stupid genius.”

  “You know that AutarLabs employees of his importance were implanted with trackers....?”

  “....What?” Regan seemed both ecstatic, and infuriated. “You mean he’s been running around with a tracker in him all this time?!”

  “Correct, if we had his electronic signature, we could even put a VTag on him.”

  Regan dug into her pocket, and pulled out a card with a logo, a name, a barcode, and a magnetic stripe. “Would an AutarLabs ID card work?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Regan grabbed a nearby visor, and pointed it at the card. “There ya go, read the barcode.”

  “Sorry,” the Major said, “We need the mag stripe too. You’ll have to bring the card here.”

  “Damn.” Regan weighed her options. She could send the card back with this redheaded goddess. But then she didn’t know if she’d get her precious momento back. Also, if she went back with this yummy creature, she could get more time with her, and maybe make her understand how much they were destined to be together. Yes, that’s the way it must be. Besides, going to the outer wall isn’t like she’s really leaving Autar, and it is to find Harold. “Alright.”

  “You’ll come with me?” Alisia hoped.

  Regan smiled her most evil, seductive smile. “To the ends of the earth.”

  ~~~~~

  Chapter 19: A Day Out

  ~~~~~

  The south gates slowly opened before them. Regan dragged a small cart of personal possessions behind her and looked about with mild curiosity as they entered the bay. It was big enough to hold a small jet plane if needed.

  The gates closed and clamped tight behind them. The back wall had three features. A bed-sized machine, a garage-sized door, and a normal sized door. They all looked sturdy as heck, and probably airtight.

  The Major’s voice came out on a PA system. “Welcome back, Captain, and welcome to the Autar wall, Ms. Grier.”

  “Thank you sweetie!” chirped Regan.

  “Ms. Grier, we’re going to have to go through your possessions, and irradiate them to kill any infection that may be on them.” the Major’s voice stated plainly.

  “That’s not really necessary, but do what ya gotta.”

  “Captain, if you would sound off the items and place them in the irradiator?”

  “Yes Sir.” Alisia held out her hand to Regan, to get the handle of the cart. Regan gave it to her in a manner that let Regan stroke Alisia’s hand, while she did her best to stare down into Alisia’s very soul. Alisia rolled her eyes, and took the cart.

  She wheeled it over to the bed-sized machine and opened up the side, revealing a large empty space. After taking off her jacket and throwing it into the irradiator, Alisia pulled out Regan’s P90 from the cart.

  “One FN-P90, personalized with stickers and paint. Six mostly full ammo clips.” She placed them into the irradiator, unaware that Regan was slowly coming up behind her. Alisia then pulled out a small bundle of clothes, announced them, and tossed them in. This continued until she came to the last item.

  “One small cardboard box.” She failed to notice the writing ‘toy box’ on the other side of the box and opened it, to list off the items inside.

  Alisia looked down upon the most dazzling array of plastic perversities she’d ever seen, complete with batteries. Regan chose that moment to delicately caress Alisia’s shoulder, brushing down the strap of her shirt. Alisia froze.

  “See those two?” Regan whispered in her ear, “We can share them. I like the blue one.”

  Alisia neared panic. Her breathing became a bit labored, and Regan mistakenly took it as a positive sign.

  “Captain?” The Major’s voice interrupted the horrified trance.

  “Uh, personal effects, Major.” Alisia stammered, “Toothbrush, hair brush, that kind of thing.”

  “List them off, Captain.”

  Alisia hesitated enough for Regan to step in. “Oh, Mr. Major Sir, a lady has to have some privacy.”

  “Oh! Oh, right, my apologies. Load them in, Captain.”

  Alisia slowly closed the box’s flaps as if she were handling a landmine. She shook it off and then lifted the cart itself into the irradiator. She closed it and turned a dense handle, locking the thick lid into place. “That’s it, Major.”

  “Very well, Captain. Hit the showers. Report to my office when you’re ready.”

  Regan bristled with excitement at the mention of showers, and her eyes darted between the smaller door and Alisia. “Ooh! I should put my clothes into the irradiator!” She excitedly began taking off her jacket.

  “Halt!” Alisia sharply commanded as if calling drill. “Ah, I mean, there’s a smaller irradiator in the showers for that. Let’s go.”

  Regan skipped ahead, turning periodically to make sure Alisia was keeping up. Regan opened the door, and stepped in to the three by one meter shower room. Seeing the irradiator box in the far corner, she rushed over, preparing to strip.

  “Have fun!” Alisia said, stepping back into the main room, and reaching for the door.

  Regan whirled to face her, and all the joy was lost. “But-“ was all she could get out before Alisia’s grinning face was obscured
by the closing door, which made a satisfying ‘foomp’ as it sealed. Alisia leaned her back against the door and slid to a seated position at the base.

  The doorknob rattled. “Aleeeeesha....” came a sing-song voice from inside. Alisia let out an exasperated sigh before replying. “Put your clothes in the irradiator and let em nuke while you take your shower.”

  Regan put on her most ‘innocent’ voice “But.... don’t you need to be clean too?”

  “Yes, but I can wait.”

  “Don’t be silly!”

  Alisia needed to think fast, or this could go on for a while. “The... the irradiator in there is only so strong. Your stuff has been in Autar for a long time, so I want to make sure they get good and nuked.”

  “Oh. I see.” Alisia heard the appropriate sounds for Regan to strip off her meager clothes and put them in the irradiator. The hum of it started up and soon, the sound of water. A few moments passed.

  “Oh, Alisia!” sung Regan.

  “Yes?” Alisia’s voice sounded like that of a tired mother.

  “I guess I should scrub well, huh?”

  “Yes, Regan.”

  “Hmm... what should I scrub first?”

  “Whatever!”

  “Aleeeeeesha....?”

  “What?”

  “Guess what I’m rubbing, I mean.. scrubbing, now?”

  “I don’t care! I’m going to check on the main irradiator.” Alisia jogged off before Regan could come up with a comeback. Of course she didn’t need to check on the main irradiator, but at least it didn’t hit on her. She sat by it for a few moments when she heard banging from the showers. Alisia ran over.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Alisia, the door’s locked! Let me out!”

  “You’re clean now, Regan, this room’s dirty. You have to leave through the other door.”

  Regan talked softly, forcing Alisia to lean nearer to the door. “Speak up!”

  “I said,” came Regan’s sweetest voice, “I’m still aaaawwfully dirty.”

  “Just get out of there so I can finish this up! I don’t want to be out here all day!”

  “Ach, Fine. You’re just no fun.”

  Alisia heard the sound of the inner door opening and closing. She opened the outer door, and was a little surprised to find that Regan wasn’t still in there waiting for her.

  Meanwhile on the other side, Regan met a handful of the wall’s male compliment, all of which seemed very interested in Regan, with her micro-skirt and all-too-small tank top. Regan took delight in their attention. She had no interest in them, but enjoyed the mental torture she could inflict.

  She put her leather jacket back on ever so slowly, arching her back much more than needed. As hard as she tried, she didn’t quite slip right out the bottom of the tank top. Ah well, the tease is often better than the show.

  “So.... boyssss... What can you tell me about our little Alisia?”

  Just then, the men’s superior officer came by, and assessing the situation, ordered them all away. He looked sternly at Regan. “Sorry to have let them trouble you, miss.” He left, leaving no room for reply.

  Regan felt like a puppy that had just been swatted on the nose, but her disappointment was cut short when the shower door began to open. Alisia stepped out, eyeing Regan with great suspicion.

  “I was good.” Regan said in mock innocence. “Let’s go see your boss guy, and get my brother’s tracer tagged.”

  After a short distance, Regan yanked Alisia into a tight side-hall. Alisia was less than surprised. Regan leaned in so very, very close. Alisia could feel the warmth of her breath, and was paralyzed with a brand of fear never found in combat.

  “Are you finished?” Alisia snapped nervously as she broke free, and continued down the hall.

  Regan lagged a bit. “Not nearrrly” She hummed to herself.

  With Alisia still storming ahead a few meters, they soon entered the Major’s office. Regan tossed the ID card on the desk and sat down. “Heya Mister Major, Sir! Here ya go! Now stick a VTag on my bro, so I can go find him.”

  “It’s not that easy, Ms. Grier. I’m going to have to do a little research to match things up. Get proper authority from the parent company of AutarLabs, etcetera, etcetera.”

  “What? What a gyp. How long?”

  “About a day or so, depending how fast various people get back to me.”

  “Pffft. Well, then I’ll just go home and wait, then.”

  “What? You’re going back into Autar?” Despite the fact that Regan had been living in there since the evacuation, it still seemed odd that she’d want to go back now.

  “Well what else am I going to do?” Regan said, absent mindedly scrolling her eyes over to Alisia’s body.

  “Well,” the Major said, “I can assign you some quarters and you can stay here until we’re ready.”

  Regan mulled this over, pretending to have some hesitation, all the while imagining ‘accidental’ situations she could get into involving Alisia. “Yeah, OK, fine.”

  Alisia cringed visibly.

  “I don’t suppose, Ms. Grier, that you could spend some time answering some general questions about your experiences in Autar?”

  “Eh, sure, what the heck.”

  “Good,” Alisia cut in, “In the mean time, I’ll take care of a few things.”

  Regan turned to Alisia with pleading eyes. “You’re not staying with me?”

  “Sorry,” Alisia replied unsympathetically, “I have things to do.” She left the office, feeling Regan’s eyes pawing at her back.

  ~~~~~

  Chapter 20: No Means Ow

  ~~~~~

  It was a relief to be rid of Regan for a bit. Being with her felt like being pawed by a lazy panther. The advances, the innuendos, the occasional uninvited touch.

  Alisia was enveloped enough in her thoughts that she almost walked right into Corporal Parker, who also seemed to have his head in the clouds.

  “Oh!” Parker jolted back to reality, “I, Sir! Sorry, I...”

  “At ease, Parker. My fault.”

  “Uh, sure.” Parker seemed to be slipping back into his own mind.

  “What’s up, soldier?” Alisia asked, carefully weighing her speaking tone between compassion and the detachment befitting rank.

  “Sir, uh, Captain... I’m just kinda shook up about Kensington.”

  In all the fuss with Regan, Alisia had nearly forgotten about Tracy’s death. She suddenly felt guilty about letting it slip so far from her mind. “Yeah. It was senseless. I shouldn’t have left her.”

  “Oh, no, no, Captain. I didn’t mean to say y-“

  “Of course not.” Alisia paused. “I was just saying. I shouldn’t have.”

  Parker sighed. “You made your call, it just didn’t work. I just... this is going to sound stupid, Cap..”

  “Stupid’s OK, Parker. Speak.”

  “I talked to her a bit before the mission, and I... kinda liked her. I mean, I hardly knew her, but she.....”

  His tone spoke volumes. Love at first sight? Alisia was cynical of the concept, but this silly Corporal was obviously affected in some way or the other. She really didn’t know what to say about it. They stood there, looking at the floor for what seemed a long time. Finally, Alisia began to walk off with a soothing pat to Parker’s shoulder as she left. Parker kept looking at the floor and leaned against the wall for a moment before continuing on.

  As Alisia went about her business she suddenly realized she was hungry. She headed over to the mess hall. It was empty, except for a Private with KP duty tending to some little task behind the counter.

  “Hey, soldier? Got any leftovers?”

  The Private perked up and looked at Alisia. “Uh, Sir, yes. Want some?”

  “I dunno, what is it?”

  “......Meat.. something. You’d have to ask chef, he’s not around.”

  “Sounds yummy. Yeah, hook me up.”

  “Right away.” The Private disappeared into the back. Alisia wande
red over to the juice machine and filled up two of those tiny glasses with OJ. She was looking down the counter for a tray, when she felt a presence.

  Arms came around her and the heat and pressure of a body pressed against her back. So much for the vacation from Regan. One of Regan’s hands slipped a pinky down Alisia’s pants. The other hand snuck up under her shirt, threatening an even less welcome touch. A little purr escaped Regan.

  “Hello Regan.” Alisia grumbled.

  “How did you know?” Regan’s voice came back soft and light, ignoring Alisia’s tone.

  “Lucky guess. Could you let go please?”

  A soft giggle came from Regan. “Hey baby, once you’ve had chick, you’ll never want d-“

  “Please stop talking now.” Alisia almost yelled.

  “Mmmm, what’s wrong?”

  “I don’t like girls, I like guys.”

  Regan responded with a little mock disgust, but still in her soft seductive tone.”Bah. What kind of lesbian are you?”

  “I’m not a lesbian!” Yeah, now she was yelling.

  Regan giggled softly again, “Not with that attitude you’re not!”

  Alisia’s anger grew exponentially. Just then the Private came back with a steaming plate of ‘meat’ dinner. He nearly dropped it at the sight of Regan doing her damnedest to wrap herself around Alisia.

  “Oh my god! Sir. I, sorry. Uh-“ and with that he handed Alisia the plate and rushed back into the depths of the kitchen, face blushing.

  Alisia snapped. Her elbow flew back into Regan’s ribs. She turned around, nearly in the same motion, and threw Regan to the ground in a textbook maneuver. The maneuver did however send dinner flying, mostly all over Alisia.

  Regan landed on her butt and looked blankly forward in shock. Alisia stood frozen, rigid with anger but also surprised at the magnitude of her own actions. It was a little rough, maybe.

  Regan swung around while fumbling to stand, and began to run. Even if she was in the right, Alisia suddenly felt awful. “Regan!” she called, but Regan didn’t stop.